If you ask me, you kissing random clerks IS the story!
If you insist...
When I walked into the store, I told the first clerk I saw (fortunately a male, although at that point it wouldn't have mattered), that I would kiss him if he got me Small Favor. He took two steps to his left, picked up a copy, presented it me, and gave me the "I'm waiting" look. So, I put my arms around his neck and kissed him right on the lips. He kissed me back.
OK?